April 2, 2013 at 12:38 am 17 comments

i wake up in the early morning

not being able to sleep,

my mind is swirling in thoughts

which seem to rise from the deep.

i stare up at the ceiling

telling myself all will be fine,

yet the mind will not disconnect –

it continues to beg and whine.

there is a voice which keeps on repeating

over & over


the same thoughts and feelings

i wish i could flush out of my head.

my heart starts to pound incessantly

as certain memories begin to unfold,

& i try so hard to disarm it,


i lay there feeling very distant and cold.

as the seconds

become minutes,


the minutes

become hours,

it is time to get up


step into the shower.


a new day has begun……..

Entry filed under: depression, dreams, feelings, insomnia, memory, mental heath, OCD, poetry, questions, thoughts. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , .

why a heart

17 Comments Add your own

  • 1. WB  |  April 2, 2013 at 1:05 am

    A new day, a fresh start. great work as usual.

    • 2. words4jp  |  April 2, 2013 at 1:37 pm

      thanks – i was going to add cup of joe to the last line but, well, i already covered that topic:)

  • 3. globalunison  |  April 2, 2013 at 1:52 am

    Hope you have a great day! =) A good one!

  • 4. keladelaide  |  April 2, 2013 at 4:02 am

    How many days until the boys are home (I know you’re counting)? Keep strong until then.

    • 5. words4jp  |  April 2, 2013 at 1:36 pm

      They are back from the land of the moose or is it elk? not sure which – they are still with dad until Thursday and then Syd and I play school bus and pick the rugrats up (our friend Bill used to call them rugrats:)

      Pee and I will keep each other entertained and standing up – until the boys arrive.

  • 6. rachieadventures  |  April 2, 2013 at 5:28 am

    Oh, I know that feeling! Wash it all away and put a smile on, hun! 🙂 *hugs*

    • 7. words4jp  |  April 2, 2013 at 1:33 pm

      yep and lets not forget the cup of joe!

  • 9. rebeccazenker  |  April 2, 2013 at 6:04 am

    Hang in there.

    • 10. words4jp  |  April 2, 2013 at 1:31 pm

      trying. i wish i could blame it on ‘screaming’ neighbors’ 🙂

      • 11. rebeccazenker  |  April 4, 2013 at 7:46 am

        Lol yeah I know what you mean. At least then you can put plugs in your ears…

      • 12. words4jp  |  April 4, 2013 at 11:54 am

        Yep – I’ve gots those. How are you doing?

  • 13. Tucson Blonde  |  April 2, 2013 at 6:13 am

    This is absolutely lovely! Hope that what ever is “troubling” you let’s you get to sleep tonight at least! 😉

  • 15. Lunch Sketch  |  April 2, 2013 at 8:19 am

    Yup. Have had too many of those mornings!

    • 16. words4jp  |  April 2, 2013 at 1:29 pm

      had another one this morning. my insomnia is coming back and i know why, but it is hard to control certain situations that i am unable to control. make sense?

      • 17. Lunch Sketch  |  April 3, 2013 at 12:01 am

        Yes. It does make sense 😦
        I’m sure you know all the tips and tricks to try and get through, so I won’t bore you with repeated advice.

        Hoping it passes soon and wishing you some more sleep!

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